Because of you
by GanatomyForever
Summary: A Dempeo fanfic. None of this actually happened. This is all from my imagination. I own nothing. I completely respect their spouses and I know that they're not really together. This is just the dream of some fangirls. In my story Patrick&Ellen have feelings for eachother, you'll have to read to understand.
1. Chapter 1

It was a Thursday morning when Ellen parked her car in her parking spot on the set. She took a deep breath and opened her door. Today was the table read for 2x26-27 the last episode of the season.

As much as she needed a long vacation, she was going to miss her co-stars and even though she didn't want to admit it , she really was going to miss Patrick. They'd become very close over the past two seasons. She could really be herself around him and she could always feel her heart skip a beat whenever they kissed. Even though they were kissing as Meredith and Derek not as Ellen and Patrick.

She really tried to stop being so attracted to him because she knew that nothing was ever going to happen. She had a boyfriend who loved her more than anything. He had a wife and a daughter whom he loved more than life itself.

And he probably didn't even feel the same way about her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She entered the big room, and noticed that some other actors were already seated. They each had a chair with their name on it and hers was next to Patrick's in the corner of the table. Patrick was already there. With his perfectly fixed hair and his charming blue eyes that drew everyone's attention.

Blue met green and she felt her heart flip in her chest. She tried not to show the painful emotions she was feeling and made her way towards him. She sat on her chair and smiled at him.

« hey sunshine, how are you ? » he asked flirtatiously.

« i'm fine, how are you ? and how is Talulah ? » she knew how much he loved to talk about his daughter. She was his pride. There was this special sparkle in his eyes eveytime she mentioned his daughter.

« we're fine. She asked about you the other day actually. She said she missed you. » Patrick said.

He often brought his daughter to the set when there weren't painful or awkward scenes to shoot.

And because Ellen and Patrick were sharing a trailer she has met the little girl and they had bonded.

« I miss her too, when are you bringing her to the set ? »

« I was thinking about bringing her next week when we shoot the beginning of the episode. » he said.

« that's great. »

they couldn't say anything else before Shonda entered the room and sat on her chair. She greeted everyone and told her assistent to pass the script to everyone. They each got their script and started the table read .

When they finally reached the last few pages Ellen and Patrick were both shocked to read that they were going to have to film a sex scene .

Shonda started talking " so here Meredith can't handle it anymore and is too tired of trying to stop thinking about him and he isn't actually making it any easier for her. So she runs and of course he runs after her and they fight before they both realize that they can't live without eachother . It's not just a sex scene. It has to be emotional because they've been separated for too long and they're finally getting back togehter . I'm not worried about it though, considering your amazing chemistry i know the scene will be exactly the way i planned it."

They smiled at her and nodded .

The table read was over and everyone said their goodbyes . They had three days off before starting the shooting of the last episode on monday . Patrick looked at Ellen and hugged her . He knew he shouldn't have felt that way but he was more than happy to do this scene with her. He didn't know exactly what it was that he was feeling for his co-star who also happened to be his bestfriend but he was definitly attracted to her.

They pulled away from their hug and shared a look. It was intense. Neither was able to look away. Their eyes were locked together. It was at this moment that Ellen realized that they weren't just friends . And that he was probably feeling the same way about her that she was about him . And she didn't know if she should have been feeling scared or happy .

"See you on monday"he said with a soft smile .

"See you . Enjoy your weekend."

"Thanks you too."

And that's how her day ended . She headed back home and ignored the phone calls her boyfriend was giving her .


	2. Love is strong

**I hope you guys liked the first chapter. It's my first fanfic so i'm kind of unexperienced. But i've read lots of fanfics and i already know where i want this story to go. **

**disclaimer: i obviously don't own anything because if i did i would be writing steamy MerDer scenes right now. **

Patrick hadn't stopped thinking about Ellen all day long on friday .  
Jill was in NewYork for work and Talulah was at her friend's house.  
He and Eric had decided to go have coffee at 4 o'clock .

It was now 3:45 and he made his was to the coffee shop. He parked his car and immediatly spotted Eric on a small table in the corner of the balcony.  
"Hey Patrick , i was about to call you. It's good to see you."  
"Good to see you too. Sorry i was at home reading the script and i lost track of time."Patrick answered .  
"Oh it's fine no need to apologize."

They were about to order their coffee when they heard a giggle and turned their heads to find Ellen and Sandra walking. Ellen looked prettier than ever . She was wearing black skinny jeans with a large beige shirt . She had sun glasses on. Her long honey blonde hair fell perfectly around her face and reached her shoulders.

Eric got up and moved towards them  
"The unmistakable Ellen giggle."he said . "Hi ladies,care to join us ?"he asked, pointing to his table with Patrick.  
Ellen looked at Patrick and smiled "Hi. Of course we'll join you."she answered giving him a smile.

She moved towards the table while Eric and Sandra greeted eachother. She sat on the chair next to Patrick and said "Hey my McDreamy." She said offering him a smirk.  
He answered with a slight laugh and said "Hi my favorite intern. You look great."  
They always flirted with eachother, it was part of their amazing chemistry everyone admired so much.

Eric and Sandra both sat on their chairs.  
"So.." Eric said with a smirk" How do ya feel about that hot scene you've gotta shoot?"  
Ellen pulled her sunglasses and let them rest on top of her head holding her hair back. "Well that's gonna be awkward." She said with a giggle.  
This giggle always made his heart melt. It was better than music to his ears. It made him happier than ever.

He looked at her with a small smile and said " It's going to be fun." He winked at her.  
She didn't really have time to respond to his comment before two young ladies who looked like they were twenty years old or so came over to their table and one of them said "McDreamy , McSteamy ! Oh god! I can't believe it's you! "  
Patrick smiled at them and Eric spoke "Hey ladies."  
The girls were giggling slightly and one of them said "I know it's a lost to ask but-" Her eyes Widened when Ellen and Sandra turned their heads to look at them."OH MY GOD Ellen Pompeo and Sandra Oh! Is this a dream or is it really happening?"she asked with tears building up in her eyes."Ellen can i get an autograph? I know it's a lot to ask but you're my idol and .. you have been since the first time i saw you on Grey's Anatomy. Oh my god.. i can't belive i'm finally meeting you."  
"Well you seem to have the rambling in common with Meredith." Ellen laughed.  
The girl smiled and gave Ellen a picture for her to sign.  
Patrick was looking at her with admiring eyes.  
Sandra was snapping pictures of the other girl with Eric.  
Ellen took the pen and the picture of herself from the girl's shaky hand " What's your name ?" She asked with a smile.  
"Oh uh caitlin." The girl responded with a small nervous smile.  
Ellen signed the Picture : to Caitlin  
Love ?  
-EllenPompeo  
The girl took it and said "Thank you so much . Thank you thank you thank you . I live and breathe for MerDer."  
Patrick and Ellen looked at eachother and Patrick asked "For what?"  
Caitlin smiled "The fans call you MerDer. For Meredith and Derek .. Our favorite couple of all time. Can i get a picture with both of you ?" She asked nervously.  
They nodded and stood up. Caitlin gave her camera to her friend. Ellen and Patrick stood on each side of caitlin. And her friend snapped the picture.  
"Thank you so much it was great to meet you." The girl said. She then looked at Ellen with admiring eyes and said "you look Amazing."

Ellen giggled slightly and said "Thank you so much. You do too."  
The girls made their way back to their table.  
Patrick smiled and said. "So MerDer..."  
Ellen burst into a fit of giggles and said "shut up."  
They decided it was time to leave when everyone started staring and realizing who they were.  
"Bye Ellie it was great to see you." Patrick said with so much love and desperation in his voice.  
Ellen stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. She took in his amazing scent and pulled back after realizing that she had probably made that hug last longer than it should have." It was great to see you too Patty." She said with these special gold flecks in her eyes.  
They all said their goodbyes and went back to their respective home.

She went to sleep wondering if she should tell chris about her feelings for Patrick.  
She loved Chris. But she wasn't sure it was going to last and it wasn't fair to either of them that she had feeling for Patrick and somehow was still with Chris.  
She fell asleep and started dreaming about Patrick all over again.

** Reviews make my day. Love you guys. **


	3. Can't fight love

**This is a little something i think some of you will like xxx**

**disclaimer: i'm just a desperate fangirl crying over my OTP.**

Ellen woke up on saturday with a headache. She had dreamt about Patrick all night long. She knew it was wrong because she had Chris and he had Jill and Talulah. But she couldn't help it. Her feelings for him grew stronger every day.

She picked up her phone and saw that she had an unread message. She opened it :  
From: Patty  
To:Ellie.  
Hey, i was wondering if you'd like to come over today. Jill's still in NY and T slept at her friend's house. We could rehearse a little and i really think we should talk.

She took a deep breath and answered to his text:  
From : Ellie  
To : Patty  
Ok, i'll come over. At what time should i come ?

She wished she could avoid this but she just couldn't. A few days ago she didn't even know he had feeling for her. She thought that she was crazy and that he would never be interested in her because he loved his wife more than anything. But she was wrong. She had realized that at the table read when they shared this look. It was intense and scary but somehow she had enjoyed having him look at her that way.  
She knew they had to talk about it. She had to stop avoiding. It was something she had in common with Meredith. They were avoiders.

Her phone signaled that she had recieved a text.  
From: Patty  
To: Ellie  
You can come whenever you want. I'm staying in all day long. The earlier the better.

She decided she'd leave her house at 11 AM .  
It was now time to leave. She was dressed in navy blue jeans and a white tank top.  
Her hair fell wavily on her shoulders. She picked up her bag and car keys before walking to the door.  
She got into her car and drove the short drive to Patrick's house.

The papparazzi were always following her everywhere since the show's ratings had gone up. She pulled up in the driveway in front of the villa and got out of the car. She could hear the cameras clicking so she held her script close to her to let them know that it was just about work.

Patrick was anxious. He didn't even know what he wanted to say to her. But he knew that they had to talk. He watched her from the window walking towards the big glass doors. He got up off the couch and opened the door before she had the chance to wring the doorbell.

He smiled warmly at her and let her in.  
"Hey," he said brushing a hand through his hair.  
"Hi," she answered with a soft smile.

No matter what she was wearing, she always took his breath away. He had always found jill beautiful. But there was never this spark between them.  
Ellen was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She entered his house and he lead her towards the big black leathered couch. His house was very modern. Much like her house. Most men didn't get involved in the house furniture but she knew just by looking around that he had a say in every little detail. The house was very Pattrick-y.

They sat down accross from eachother and there was an awkward silence.

"So.. What did you want to talk about?"she asked. As if she didn't know what was going on.

He breathed heavily and moved to sit down next to her.  
He ran a hand through his hair.  
"Can we rehearse a little first?" He suggested with a small innocent smile that made her heart melt.  
"Sure."she said as she grabbed her script.  
They spent two hours rehearsing their lines. The tension was still there but it was a little less awkward. He loved spending time with her and as much as she hated to admit it , she did too.

It was time to rehearse the end of the episode.  
"So.. Should we .. Should we rehearse this part?"she asked in a low voice.  
"We could.." He answered hopefully.  
"Okay.. Where should we do it ?" She asked with a soft smile.  
He got up and reached for her hand. He led them to the kitchen table and started the scene "Meredith" he said. She was walking towards the table facing away from him just like the script said.  
"Leave me alone" she said in a determined voice.  
"Meredith-"  
"Just leave me alone!"she said more firmly.

"I just want to make sure you're alright." He said in a desperate tone.

Her heart clenched in her chest at the desperation in his voice. "No! I'm not alright! Okay? Are you satisfied? I am not alright. Because you have a wife-"she said. And there was a twinge in his heart as her words left her mouth. He knew it was Meredith's line. But looking into her unusually dark , deep , tearful eyes, he knew that it was his Ellen.

She kept saying her line "and you call me a whore, and our dog died, and now you're looking at me. Stop looking at me." She said. She took two shaky breaths and waited for him to continue. He hadn't paid attention to anything she was saying. He kept thinking about the way she had said " you have a wife".  
It really was Ellen. He walked around the table to reach her side like he was supposed to but instead of saying his line he grabbed her waist and pulled her close to him. She was shocked but couldn't say or do anything. It was as if she didn't have any control over her body. Her brain told her to step back. Her heart was beating a mile a minute in her chest. But her body was frozen. She didn't even try to move. She kept her eyes locked on his. The usually bright blue eyes were now dark and looked back at her painfully.

Patrick knew he sould just let go of her. But it was physically impossible. The heat radiating through their bodies made it impossible for him to let her go. He had wanted this for too long. It was wrong . In so many ways. Because he had a family. A beautiful daughter whom he loved more than anything. But he couldn't resist the urge to kiss her. She fit perfectly in his arms. Their bodies were pressed up against eachother. They were as close as two prople could get. He breathed heavily a few times before looking down at her soft lips. He couldn't think about anything else as she slightly parted her lips. He captured her lips with his and kissed her hungrily.

She unsuccessfully tried to stop the urge to moan as his tongue begged to enter her mouth. She slightly opened her mouth and their tongues came crushing together.

He grabbed her wavy hair and let go of her lips to kiss her neck.  
The feeling of his wet lips against her soft skin sent shivers all over her body.  
She let him pull her head back by gently yet passionatly pulling on her hair.  
She moaned in pleasure as his lips reached her chest. He looked up to her with lust in his eyes and pulled her tank top over her head revieling a lacy red bra.  
She was now in her jeans and her bra.  
He looked at her hungrily. She was beautiful. Her soft skin was glowing.  
Her breasts were pushed up by her bra. Not in a slutty way. But it was still hot.

She lost all coherent thoughts as he picked her up and wrapped her legs firmly around his waist. He kissed her as passionately as she had ever been kissed before. He breasts were pressed up against his chest and she could feel his full erection pressing up against her.  
He moaned as she ran her fingers through his dark curls.  
He set her down on the table and reached for the button of her pants. He pushed them down and threw them on the floor. He looked at her in awe.  
She looked like a model. The way her long legs led to her center sent shivers through his body.  
She grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to her. She kissed him with all she had and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He couldn't take it anymore. The urge to be inside of her took over any coherant thought he had and he quickly got undressed. Leaving him naked in front of her. She reached behind her back and undid her bra. Slowly letting it fall to the ground. She moaned in pleasure as he took a nipple into his mouth and gently started sucking it. Her body was shaking and aching for him to enter her.  
He hooked two fingers on the waistband of her panties and slowly slid them down. He picked her up and looked deep into her eyes before she slid herself onto him.  
"Oh-" she moaned in a high pitched voice. "Pa-patty-"  
"Ellen-" he said breathlessly "oh my god"  
She adjusted herself to his size as he gently layed her down on the table. Still nestled deep inside of her.

He was now laying on top of her.  
Both lost in eachother's deep eyes. This was not just an affair they were having. This was two people finally being joined together after two years of pain and loneliness.  
The feeling of finally being burried deep inside the woman he now realized he had fallen for was the best feeling he had ever experienced.

She ached for him to begin moving. She had dreamt about this moment for so long. Yet she never thought it would happen. This man was the reason she kept breathing. He was always there for her. He was her very best friend. And she had felt an attraction towards him the second she had first layed eyes on him.

She gently captured his lips with hers and he took it as a cue to start moving. He wanted to make love to the woman he loved and admired so much. He knew she loved him back just by the way she was looking at him.  
He torturously pulled all the way out of her and gently moved back in , in a painfully slow pace.  
"Oh - oh- oh my god Pat-" she couldn't even form full sentences as she felt her walls clench around him.  
"Ellen-"he breathed heavily "i - i- " he wanted to tell her just how muched he loved her but he couldn't. He continued thrusting in and out of her. And picked up his pace. They were both over the edge and she felt him release inside of her sending her into a powerful orgasm. Waves and waves of pleasure rushed through her as she kissed him hard. "Yes- yess patrick" she moaned.  
"God you're amazing-"he said breathlessy as they both came down from their high.

He fell on top of her his head between her breasts as she ran her long fingers through his hair.  
They were both trying to catch their breath.

They lay there silently for a few minutes before he looked up at her and said "Ellen what does this mean" he smirked.

She giggled softly as she realized that he was quoting the show.  
"It means that we're both in trouble. You should tell me what it means-"she started rambling. He loved her rambling more than anything. Her rambling and her giggle made his heart melt for her. Every single time he heard her giggle he fell more and more inlove with her. "You're the one with the wife and the child patrick. You should tell me what it means. I mean i have Chris and i really thought i loved him. I really did. But i guess i don't. And now i'm a whore. I'm the biggest whore ever-" he cut her off kissing her softly on the lips "i think i'm falling in love with you," he said softly with tearful eyes.

A single tear made it's way down her cheek as she looked into his loving blue eyes waiting for him to continue." I married Jill thinking she was it for me. She's my wife. She's the mother of my child. Yet i've never felt the same way about her. I love Jill. At least i thought i did. But Ellen whenever i look at you i loose my mind. You make my world stop. You're the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. And the first time i heard your giggle-"he said with a soft smile" i felt my heart flip in my chest. I'm happier when i'm around you than i've ever been in my entire life. You have this way of making me feel better just by looking at me." He said as tears started building up in both of their eyes." I really do love you Ellen."  
She couldn't stop the tears streaming down her face.  
He cleared them away with his thumb and looked deep into her eyes.  
"I think i'm falling for you too." She said almost inaudibly.  
He kissed her forhead gently "we'll figure something out" he said with a soft smile. "But if there's one thing that i know it's that i want to be with you Ellen Pompeo. You're the reason i wake up every single morning."  
She sobbed at his loving words and pulled him down to her hugging him heartfully.  
"I love you" she said . Still crying.  
"I love you too." He answered his heart beating a mile a minute. She loved him back. It was all he needed to know for now. They would figure something out. He couldn't hide his feelings for her any longer.

**I hope you liked it. Reviews would make me happy**.


	4. Loosing my religion

**Yay new update. You probably think that it's too easy. And that there's usually so many obstacles in Dempeo fanfics. You'll have to wait. I have so many plans for this story. And FYI this fanfiction is going to be a long one. I hope you all stick with me until the end.**

**Disclaimer: unfortunately i own nothing**.

Patrick woke up early on Monday. He had to go to work early to start shooting the season 2 final. And Talulah was going with him. His five year old daughter adored his co-star. Which usually made Jill mad.

"T, princess wake up" he said as he slowly entered his daughter's princessy pink room.

She immediatly got up turned on the light and hugged him." Hey daddy! Am i still going to your work today?" She asked sweetly. Her light blond hair was messy and needed to be combed.

"Yes you are! Are you excited?"

"Of course i'm excited silly daddy! I'm gonna see Ellen" she replied.

"Great. Now get dressed and then we can go." He smiled softly.

"Okay!"

After an hour they were both in his silver porsche. She was in the back seat of the car and he was driving thinking about the day before.  
He had slept with Ellen Pompeo. It was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. He knew he loved her but it was complicated. He had promised her that everything would be okay. And that they'd find a way to be together. He was going to talk to his wife because he could not stay in a marriage out of obligation. The love and the chemistry he had with Jill had faded over the years.  
Jill was still in NY for some big event. But she was coming back tonight and he would talk to her.  
He didn't know how Ellen was going to handle it with Chris.

They finally got to the set and Patrick parked his car. He saw Ellen's car two parking spots on the left.  
He got out,opened Talulah's door and unbuckled her seatbelt.  
"Come on princess." He couldn't help but chuckle at the wide smile she offered him.  
They walked towards his trailer.  
He and Ellen shared their trailer and he knew very well that they both enjoyed it.  
He opened the front door and smiled when he saw Ellen's honey blond hair. She was sitting on the white leather couch in the right corner. Her scrip in her right hand and a mug in her other hand.

"ELLEN" Talulah jumped and ran towards the actress.

Ellen giggled slightly, she put her script and mug on the table and pulled the little girl in her arms.

"Hi T, how are you? I haven't seen you in forever! Wow you look like a princess in this dress!" She smiled widely at the five year old.

"I am five now!"

Patrick couldn't help but feel his heart beat a mile a minute. Ellen was beautiful. She was perfect in every way. The way she talked to his daughter made his heart melt. She was the love of his life. He knew it. And Jill knew it too. She always accused him of having feelings for his co-star.

"You look pretty" Talulah said and she blushed slightly.

"Thank you and you look pretty too princess T" Ellen smiled. Feeling her heart clench in her chest.  
She met Patrick's eyes over Talulah's head and she smiled at him. Her eyes were sparkling. And he fell even more in love with her.

Patrick looked at his watch and sighed." Time to shoot." He said." Come on girls."

They got out of the trailer and walked towards the set. Whenever Talulah came with him she usually stayed with Heidi. A crew member.

"Hey Tal, it's been so long since you last came with your daddy."Said a cheerful Heidi as she met the Three of them at the front big sliding glass doors of the building.

"Yeah, and i've missed it!"she replied enthusiastically.

Ellen and Patrick watched the 5 year old walk away with the crew member. Heidi always took the children who came with their parents to a big playroom and stayed with them.

The two actors were walking together and suddenly his hand brushed against hers which made her skin shiver at his touch.

Their eyes locked and they were staring at each other with so much love, passion and amazement.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They spent the first few hours of the day shooting their scenes. Talulah had gone home after she had lunch with both her father and his co-star.  
Patrick's personal driver drove her back to their big house where there was the housekeeper to take care of her.

Back on set Patrick and Ellen were getting ready to shoot the hot scene everyone was so excited about.  
Ellen was a little stressed.  
Patrick was happier than ever because he was going to have her close to him.

The crew members were all in place and Shonda was there to supervise. She had a grin on her face.

They were done with the part when they were dancing and were still lost in each other's eyes.  
And with the part where he was chasing after her.

Ellen entered the room furiously and walked towards the exam table.  
They said their lines and now she was facing away ready to turn around and he was panting heavily after having given his speech about being married.

His heart was pounding in his chest harder than ever.  
She took a deep breath and turned around to face him. His eyes met hers and he felt like his heart had stopped beating as he felt the urge to have his lips on hers. That was what Derek was supposed to feel and it was easy to act it out because he was feeling it too. She took two deep breaths, his signal for him to start kissing her.  
He grabbed her face and captured her lips in his kissing her with everything he had. He had completely forgotten about everyone else in the room. He had already said it once in an interview that she made it very easy for him to forget that they were beeing filmed.

He pulled her hair back softly but still firmly and started kissing her neck making her moan unconsciously .

They didn't realize the shocked looks of their co-workers who were there to observe the scene. They knew they had good chemistry but when people had love scenes to film they never enjoyed it that much. There was usually an awkward tension.

He kept kissing her neck slowly moving to her chest. Went back up te her lips and he looked into her eyes realizing just how important she was to him. The trust in her beautiful Green/gray/blue eyes made his heart ache for her.

He picked her up as slowly as possible and gently seated her on the table . She brushed her hand against the side of his face and they were again lost in each other's eyes.  
There was so much love and passion between them. He slowly slid her black panties down her legs just like the script said. Unfortunately she was wearing other panties underneath.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and her center started aching for him just like the blood in his body started circulating to his growing.  
It was the actors' choice to use tongue or not in a kissing scene and today they were. Much to the others' shock.  
He picked her up easily and slowly let her fall back down onto his crotch even though his boxers were still on.

She breathed heavily and closed her eyes in bliss remembering the amazing feeling that she got when he was inside of her the day prior.  
He wished more than anything that they didn't have their underwear on because all he could think about was to release the pain he was feeling in the area where they were pressed against each other.  
He wanted to be inside of the woman he loved more than anything.  
He kissed her again and again which did not help his situation at all.  
Having her in his arms felt better than anything else.  
She moaned in pleasure as she she felt his arousal against her and wished that they were not shooting a scene so that she could make passionate love to him.

The director called cut and they pulled away seconds after they heard peter's words. Everyone was staring at them with shocked expressions on their face. And they were panting heavily. They both notcied the hard on literally every guy in the room had .

Shonda spoke breathlessly" you two did an amazing job, this is exactly what i wanted for this scene! You two are geniuses. Thank you so much! Now we all obviously need some ... Fresh air.."she said mused by the situation"and.. For some of us a .. Cold shower" she said looking down at Peter and Patrick's obvious hard-on.  
Everyone left the room and the lovers were left alone breathless.  
He looked into her deep loving eyes and spoke" I love you so much El, you have no idea what you're doing to me. " he lifted her chin up and kissed her softly on the lips. Her body responded by kissing him back a little more pationately and even though she was shocked because he was freely kissing her she found a way to enter his mouth with her tongue and started exploring it with love and passion.

He pulled back sensing that if they kept going the way they were going he would not be able to change his mind. "I can't. We can't . I'm married and you have a boyfriend. I will talk to Jill. My marriage will be over and as soon as it is, we will be together. But i don't want to cheat on her any more than i already did." He sighed painfully.

She smiled softly knowing that this was the reason why she loved him so much. He was a good man.  
She knew she should argue with him and not let him end his marriage but she couldn't do it anymore. She had been hiding her feelings for too long. Not wanting to be a home-wrecker but she couldn't keep living in so much pain.

She leaned forward and was literally a hair away from his lips and she kissed him softly . Quickly.  
He smiled his heart pounding for this woman. He kissed her one last time on the cheek and left the room because he had to pick up Jill from the airport.

She had a wide smile on her way as she went back home . To her empty house knowing that she would have him some day.

**Hope you liked it. Xoxo**


	5. Finally free

**Hey, chapter 5! Finally! Hope you like it**.

Ellen went home that day planning on breaking up with Chris. She couldn't live in a lie any longer. She had to do it. And Patrick was going to talk to Jill.  
She felt like a homewrecker, she felt like Meredith. She loved this man more than life itself and she couldn't watch him with another woman any longer. So she just accepted the fact that she was being a homewrecker because she would have him in return.

She got home late and Chris was at her house. She had given him the key in case of an emergency.  
She turned on the light in the living room and saw his tall form lying on the white couch.

She came closer to him and sat down next to him. And began speaking " Is there something wrong?"

"You tell me..?" Chris replied with a sigh. "You haven't been yourself lately and we barely even see eachother. I feel like i've lost you. I'm just going to ask a question, and i want a simple yes or no: do you still love me? " His eyes were tearful.

She was surprised by his forwardness and didn't know how to answer. She didn't even know the answer. She felt sorry for him, he was her first serious boyfriend and they had been together for a long time and here she was wondering if she should break up with him or not.

Then she imagined ocean blue eyes looking back at her and slowly leaning to kiss her and she smiled slightly knowing that this was all she ever wanted. She had to break it off with Chris because Patrick was going to leave Jill and she couldn't imagine not being able to kiss Patrick.

"I-" she was cut off by his finger on her lips.

"I don't need to hear the words. You clearly don't love me anymore. I guess we're over then. But just so you know, i will always love you. " he kissed her slightly on the lips. Not in a passionate way. But in a way that said ' Goodbye' .

She was speechless. Speechless because she hadn't felt anything. She wasn't feeling like she had lost someone important to her even though she knew she should have.

Chris was now gone and she hadn't even tried to stop him from leaving.  
The only thing she could think about was that she was finally going to be able to be with Patrick. He had promised her he was going to talk to Jill tonight. So he probably already had.

It was a little over midnight and she decided to go to sleep with a happy smile on her face knowing that she was going to see Patrick the next morning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Patrick arrived at work but couldn't get out of his car yet. The events from last night playing over in his head. He was feeling like life was finally being fair. He was going to be with Ellen. He was as happy as ever. His eyes sparkling and his hair as tidy as ever.

_Patrick had picked up Jill from the airport and they were now on their way back home. They had greeted eachother with a hug. She was a lot more enthusiastic than he was. They were making small talk about her business in NY. But he was clearly thinking about something else._

_They finally got home and he was ready to talk to her. He was going to leave his wife for his co-star. He felt like a complete ass because no one would do this. He had sent Talula to Jill's sister's house. She was spending the night with her favorite auntie._

_"So.." Patrick said slowly. They were sitting on the sofa in the living room with tired expressions on their faces. "Umm.. We need to talk.."_

_Jill looked down as if she knew what he was talking about. "Yeah.. Umm... Okay-"_

_"I will always love you Jill.. I will. But i don't know if .. I want this marriage anymore. I .. Haven't really been myself lately because.. I know it hurts and i'm sorry but i have to be honest with you. I think i have been falling for .. Ellen.. " he said in the lowest of voices._

_He waited for her reaction. She didn't look surprised. Disappointed but not surprised. "I.. Know." Jill said in a completely broken voice." You have been inlove with her since the first time you saw her. I've been trying to tell myself that i was imagining things and that it was just about work.. But deep down i knew you had fallen hard for your.. Co-star." She added to his surprise "and you haven't been inlove with me for a long time. I think that.. You falling out of love with me made me .. Fall out of love with you too.."_

_He was completely shocked. He had expected tears and blood .. And more blood.. He had never thought she was going to tell him she no longer loved him._

_Not that he wasn't happy she understood and was not completely broken but.. Their marriage was ending.. It was .. Something big._

_"Umm.. I.. Don't know what to say-" he said in a very low voice._

_"Just say that we're going to do out best to keep T away from our problems. Umm.. I know it sounds harsh but we've been off for a long time.. And .. I think.. What we both want is .. A divorce." Her voice was not broken but her eyes were watery._

_"Umm.. Yeah.. I'm sorry Jill i never wanted our marriage to end. But i couldn't hide my feelings any longer. Umm i guess we're separated.. You can keep the house. I'm going to stay in a hotel until i find something else. And .. Yeah.. I guess i'll see you tomorrow.. We can have lunch with T, she hasn't seen you yet."_

_"I- want the divorce over as soon as possible.. Because if it takes time people are going to start talking and it will affect Talula. Are .. Umm.. Joint custody right?" She asked in a murmur._

_"Uuh.. Yes i guess. It's better that way.. Talula's still little, she's only goingg to remember growing up this way. So i don't think it will affect her that much.. Because she won't be able to remember ever growing up with both of us in the same house."_

_He was going to get divorced for the second time. He knew he should be feeling like drowning but instead he felt like he was finally coming out of the water. It was like he was drowning and Ellen's love saved him. He wanted to be with her. He knew they wouldn't be together as soon as the divorce was over. It would take some time. But he was okay with waiting as long as he knew she was going to wait too._

_"Yeah probably-" Jill cut him from his thoughts._

_"Uh.. I guess i'll go.. To the hotel. " he kissed her one last time on the lips and left the house._

_The door closed behing him when Jill finally allowed herself to break down. The tears were streaming down her face. She didn't lie when she said she didn't love him anymore. But it was still a divorce. It was big.. Everything was changing.  
She wanted him to be happy. And he wouldn't be other than with Ellen.  
And she knew she had done the right thing suggesting a divorce. Because she could have asked him to wait. And they could have tried harder for their marriage but she knew it was not necessary. He was never going to be happy with her.  
She went to bed and finally allowed herself to fall asleep._

**So you probably think it's too easy and they should be more broken but i just couldn't. Hope you liked it.  
Reviews make me happy. Xx**


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